The world is a sadder place now. Here are some of his great one-liners:
During sex, my girlfriend always wants to talk to me. Just the other night she called me from a hotel.
I was such an ugly kid... When I played in the sandbox the cat kept covering me up.
I could tell that my parents hated me. My bath toys were a toaster and a radio.
I was such an ugly baby... My mother never breast fed me. She told me that she only liked me as a friend.
I'm so ugly... My father carries around the picture of the kid who came with his wallet.
Once when I was lost... I saw a policeman, and asked him to help me find my parents. I said to him.... "Do you think we'll ever find them? "He said. "I don't know kid... there are so many places they can hide."
My wife made me join a bridge club. I jump off next Tuesday.
My uncle's dying wish was to have me sitting in his lap; he was in the electric chair.
I'm so ugly; when I was born the doctor slapped my mother!