Don't tell my wife, but I got an email yesterday from Madonna. "Yeah, sure", you say, but it's addressed to me. Kind of like the time I had a date with Cindy Crawford. Well, just dinner and a movie. And then the plane landed.

Anyway, I thought I'd share the email with you (my comments in parentheses):

Dear Philip, (See, I told you it was addressed to me!)

I've never done this before.  (Coming from Madonna, that's a very short list of things, mostly involving taste and humility)

But life is about taking risks is it not? (Is emailing me that risky? Worse than marrying Sean Penn or dating Dennis Rodman? Riskier than remaking Swept Away?)

I know that people seem to pay attention to everything I do. Big or Small.  Ridiculous or Sublime.  ("Seem"?? She thinks we've only been pretending to notice her? And notice the humility, like she's spent the last 20 years trying to stay our of the limelight. Finally, I'll grant her the ridiculous, but sublime? That's clearly something she's never done before)

So I am hoping they pay attention to this:

I am supporting General Wesley Clark for President.

Not only as a "celebrity," but as an American citizen and as a mother. 

(Why the quotes around celebrity? Does she intend to signify that she's not really a celebrity? That it's all somehow a perception and not reality? Then there's her devotion to American citizenship, which she never expressed better than with her Rock the Vote video wearing a red underwear with the flag draped over her.)

I want my children to grow up with the same opportunities that I had -- to know and understand what's going on in the world and to travel that world safely and with pride. I fear the future I wish for my children is at risk, so I'm taking action.  Please join me.

Our greatest risk is not terrorism, and it's not Iraq or the “Axis of Evil.”  Our greatest risk is a lack of leadership, a lack of honesty and a complete lack of consciousness.

(I'll admit Bush is no genius, but unlike Reagan and except during that pretzel incident, I've never known him to lose consciousness.)

Unfortunately our current government cannot see the big picture.  They think too small. They suffer from the “what's in it for me?” syndrome.  (She obviously wants to people think about what really matters, and ask, like she does, "What's in it for Madonna?")

The simple truth is that the current administration has squandered incredible opportunities to bring the world together, to promote peace in regions that have only known war, to encourage health in places that are ravaged with disease, to make us more secure by living up to our principles at home and abroad.  The simple truth is that the policies of our current administration do not reflect what is great about America.

(Yes, Madonna the great humanitarian. I remember all those pictures of her visiting Mother Theresa, comforting starving children in her arms. Oh, wait a minute. I just lost consciousness.)

Anyway, I could go on, but you get the point. Why do candidates debase themselves by associating with celebrities? Wes Clark is a decent and thoughtful man, but trumpeting this kind of endorsement just makes him seem silly.