Wednesday, August 11, 2004

A job for Teresa?

Can anyone figure out how the Kerry campaign can use Teresa? She apparently does not go over well on the campaign trail. She can't spend her fortune to support her husband. Her speech at the Democratic National Convention set new standards for loopiness and narcissism.

When she opened her remarks by speaking in five languages, I thought that maybe she could serve as some sort of ethnic outreach officer. But surely the Democrats have many far better campaigners in the Hispanic community than Teresa. Two million Americans speak some sort of French at home. But the major French-speaking groups (Cajuns, Haitians, some older French-Canadians in New England) don't exactly use Teresa's Parisian. A million Americans speak Italian. But most are old people in the Northeast (in states that Kerry will surely carry), and virtually all are fluent in English. There are a half-million Portuguese speakers. Unfortunately, there are concentrated in New England and California. So there went that idea. (Statistics from, the website of the Modern Language Association).

So can anyone find a use for Teresa? Stroker of Hollywood egos? (She sort of reminds me of Streisand). Ambassador to the gay community? (She went over well at a gay event at the convention). Perhaps NASA could send her to inspect the rings of Saturn, which she referenced in her speech. Maybe the DNC could sponsor a contest.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

She's like her ketchup--she dripped forever and nothing came out.